Hey everyone,

If you were to ask your typical Gen Z or Millenial person how exactly they wanted to spend their time every day, chances are, they would answer “I don’t know.” In some cases, people would answer that they don’t have anything they really want to do. You don’t even have to ask someone. Just head to Twitter. You’ll probably find someone lamenting their lack of motivation to do anything.

Struggling to find passion and purpose in life, both in the day-to-day and long-term, is a dilemma young people often struggle with. I’ve been on the internet long enough to know this. I’ve even witnessed and experienced it firsthand.

But what about the opposite end of the spectrum? What about wanting to do too many things or having too many passions? Hardly anyone complains about having too many things they want to do (note: I said want to do, not have to do).

So I guess I find myself in a rather peculiar situation. All the people around me either don’t know what to do with their time or have it all figured out, while I am utterly overwhelmed with what I want to do and wish to achieve. It feels like there aren’t enough hours in a day to work on everything I set out to accomplish.

There’s the obvious: I want to do well in school. I want to get grades I can be proud of and graduate with honors; this alone demands much effort. But my pursuit of learning goes beyond school as well. I want to grow my developer portfolio by coding interesting side projects. I am trying to learn more about entrepreneurship and business to hopefully run a successful startup one day. And reading books is still something I do (and want to do more of).

I try to spend at least an hour improving my piano-playing skills daily—though I don’t always reach one hour. Many of the pieces I dream of playing require years of consistent practice. Someday, I wish to perform these pieces at a concert hall with other inspiring musicians.

Then there’s this online creator journey that I started. I want to grow my blog, improve my writing and essays, release more book reviews, and post more piano covers on YouTube. I really enjoy these things and wish I could spend more time on them, but it’s been hard to dedicate time to them with school now in the picture.

I’ve been trying to fit all these activities into my schedule, utilizing different habit-forming and time-management tips. I’ve tried devoting one hour every day to studying, piano practice, and writing, respectively. I’ve tried to write during breakfast and study after dinner. Originally it seemed like a breeze, but in reality, my schedule has become quite volatile because of face-to-face classes.

On school days, I’m occasionally out from morning to early evening, leaving me exhausted when I get home. On weekends, we typically have whole-day family gatherings and errands, leaving me with little time for my endeavors. Then I beat myself up for not progressing with my goals as much as I want to.

My frustration lies not with my circumstances (i.e., having to go to school and spending time with family and friends) but with my perceived incompetence and poor time management. Instead of accepting that I can’t do all these things in a single day, I try to find ways to optimize my time, energy, and schedule. Why can’t I write a few paragraphs as soon as I wake up? Maybe I could sleep one hour later to study a little more.

Sometimes I also think about whether trying to do a lot of things is ideal or not. I’ve read that the world rewards those who specialize and focus on a niche. I want to pursue all these aspirations, but I fear I won’t succeed at any of them unless I forego everything else.

If someone were to seek my opinion on this, I’d tell them it’s not about doing what’s ideal for the world, but doing what you enjoy. If you love managing multiple passions at once, don’t stop yourself. If there’s only one thing you see yourself doing down the line, keep at it.

I know that the problem mostly lies with me, regardless of whether I do many things at once or focus on one thing at a time. I burden myself with high, self-imposed expectations. I try to spend every waking hour moving towards some long-term goal and condemn myself if I don’t. I’m only human. I shouldn’t expect myself to accomplish everything I set out to do.

I can become so fixated on outcomes and progress that I forget to look back and appreciate how far I’ve come. I believe this is also due to the prominence of “hustle culture” nowadays. But of course, I can control how much I am influenced by it. Being aware of a problem and actually addressing it are two different things.

I think you can see that I’m terrible at following my own advice.

I don’t have an answer to this dilemma, nor do I expect to get one anytime soon. I simply felt like sharing my thoughts after many hours of reflection (and agony). I hope you got something out of reading this ramble of mine, and I’d love to hear any thoughts you may have on this topic!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Have a great day!

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